I was Alice in wonderland frolicking through the malls without a care in the world. Knee high socks, designer shoes, with shades that cost more than my mortgage payment, you would have thought to yourself "Who is that? Wonder what he does?".... Meanwhile I was asking myself the same thing every morning waking up dazed and confused on a bed full of wrappers and price tags.... pretty much how Hugh Hefner wakes up every morning.... minus the bunnies, 1000 thread count sheets, and most importantly...the money.
The day I turned 27 I stepped into a rabbit hole. And instead of recognizing my own personal issues, I happily masked them all with pretty shiny things that were on sale, so of course "I HAD TO BUY THEM RIGHT THEN AND THERE BECAUSE YOU KNOW THIS SALE WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN...DUUUHH" Until one morning my tequila eyes snapped into reality by the rancid whiskey breath from the night before.... As I glared down at my brand new mac book pro. I reminisced the days when I was debt free, all the while my face was performing a Cirque de' Soleil show contorting into disbelief as I assessed the credit card debt I had accumulated.... I froze. Looking back at that initial shock today I realized I was living a life full of fools gold. I was an actor, I was playing the role of a wealthy white girl from the Hamptons whose bank account was more like J-Lo's, back when she WAS Jenny from the block...sans obnoxious white fur coat.
I was an attentive son, a great sailor, a victim of multiple sexual assaults, a war veteran, an x- boyfriend, but like most young Americans I didn't know who I was. So I used retail therapy to personify an ideal me wrapping up my invisible scars with Prada, Louis Vuitton, Guess, Burberry, Oakley, Banana Republic, and Kenneth Cole etc. So I made the conscious decision to not shop for clothing for an entire year and this is my take away.
• I became more creative, piecing together outfits that I wouldn't have thought to before. Making my already edgy artsy look more eclectic with a higher level of authenticity.
• I Finally used up all those items that still had price tags hanging on them. My closet began to look like a sale from Off the 5th.... in Hoboken.
• I saved up money.... plenty of it too. I wasn't coming home looking like an anxious mess who was about to play Fear Factor with my bank account.
• I sought out the help I actually needed ridding myself of many anxieties and dealing with some pretty hard-core issues that were destroying me on the inside. My eyes were like a Barney's Holiday window full of life and excitement but empty as the mannequins that relished in the beautiful fantasy.
• Sale! Sale! Sale! Read all about it no more! Those pretty deals full of excitement, love, and comfort no longer filled my emotional tub of ice cream.... now I just binge eat mint Oreo's, don't hate, I don't get fat lol
And no I haven't fallen back in to old habits ha-ha but this past year will forever be remembered as
The Swipeless Year
