Hey White Boy! — René Vincit

Disclaimer: I promise this post will involve D.C. Fashion Week, but first I need to get this sweat off my breast... I mean my chest. Nope. I mean breast.

I get it. I have fair skin with a hint of caramel and the lips Kylie Jenner pays for. Lol. Bless her heart! Needless to say, I have a very multi-national look. I've been mistaken for White, Greek, Middle Eastern, Philipino, Bolivian, Pacific Islander, Chinese (WTF), Italian, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Portuguese (basically, all of South America), and Black.... I saved the best for last.

Once upon a time, I was working in this retail store and a white customer asked me what my ethnicity was. I said, "El Salvadorian with a little Italian." I proceeded to ask what her guess was and she said, "Black." When I inquired as to why, her response was, "Well, you have big lips." Awwwww, hell naw! You talk about somebody biting their tongue to save their job. All I could do was look at my friend Brittney, who happened to be black. We both took off our imaginary weave and earrings and busted out the JAM... cuz we ran out of petroleum jelly a.k.a. grease. I, politely, looked back at the woman and wished her a great day. Whew! That was close.

The race thing happens all the time; even when I'm out and about with my sister, who happens to be Brazilian and Angolian. The guys are always like, "Why she with that white boy?" Classic point in case. My friend, Angelique, and I were leaving a D.C. Fashion Week event last year. While walking back to my car, two black guys passing by muttered, "Something, something... white boy." I just snapped. You know I had to clap back! So, loudly, I say, "I am GAY! WTF about me says, "I'm straight!" I am wearing a woman's blouse and jeans! Do you get it? I am GAY, GAY, FUCKING GAY! No one said a word, as they looked back at me in silent disbelief. Lol. And the white people huddled on the stairs had that shocked look they get when they don't know how to react to a racist joke.

Fast forward one year. It's D.C. Fashion Week...again. Guess who got called "white boy"... again! Ding, ding, ding! So, last Friday, I'm at a DCFW event with Angelique. I know, I know, it's like déjà vu. Her camera was dying, so I decide to run to my car and grab mine. As I am running back, I see a group of people to my right; who, I assume, are trying to take a selfie. Just as I'm passing them, one of the guys yell out, "Hey! White boy!" Fearing the show would start without me, I didn't have time to stop and, therefore, didn't try to slow down. Suddenly, I heard shattering glass. I look back and the same guy had thrown a glass bottle in my direction. Mad much? Anyway, I definitely did not have time to cause a scene. At least not in my expensive boots and $1,500 lens in hand. None the less, I was in total disbelief. Never, not that I recall, have I ever attempted to gain anyone's attention by calling them by their "assumed" race or ethnicity. Like... "White boy." Ohhhhhh reallllllly, bro?! Lol As promised, this post has fashionably wrapped back around to Fashion Week..

Here's a recap for Men's Spring 2018!

Patterns, patterns, patterns galore! Even the once horribly tacky, fashion faux pas Hawaiian shirt, has made it's way to the runway. Let's be real. I can't see myself buying a vintage, haute coutoure Hawaiian shirt 30 years from now. Can you? When I see a Hawaiian shirt, I think back to that Christmas Vacation scene with the Hawaiian Christmas song playing.

Do you think men in skirts will ever be a thing? The phenomenon appears every so often; here and there, but it just hasn't caught on. Before you ask, no, those silly rompers do not count! That should have never happened. At some point in the future, I will shake my head and face palm. Damn, rompers! Lol. Still, there were some great looks from this year's show.